Thursday, October 28, 2010

Meet My Newest Tricks and Treats

Halloween is almost here, and while I dread passing out my 3 Musketeers Dark Chocolate Mint bars to all the adorable princess and superheroes (who just won't experience the same enjoyment from those little minty pillows of heaven as your truly), I would like to tell you a real a scary story ...

Imagine, if you will, a girl. She's quirky, cute and highly opinionated. One day, she decides to can it with her snark and try her hand at writing a book -- after all, she can't keep saying 'I could've written that better' when she'd yet to actually try.

So, she writes cet book – and it's not half bad. In fact, it's *so* not half bad that, after 18 nauseating months of cold email attempts (with some shudderingly horrible rejections), she secures an fabulous agent to represent this book to publishers.

(Cue angelic music as sunshine bursts through the clouds.)

But, here's where this story gets scary. Our girl must face down the dreaded nemesis of .... HER OWN IMAGE! Dun-dun-duuuuh!

..... OK. Let's pretend that wasn't so thinly veiled as I reveal this pink-haired lass is in fact me. The climax, though, is absolute fact: I don't know what the hell to do with myself now that I'm sorta kinda half-way to being a published author.

Here's hoping a few paragraphs explaining what I feel has become my MANIACALLY large ego clears up the confusion. But first, from where does all this scary proselytizing stem? Actually, a very happy announcement:

(Cue confetti bursting from cannons in a shower of brilliant, sparkly paper bits.)

MY NEW WEBSITE IS LIVE. is totally open to your viewing pleasure! My fabulous web designer, Shawn Koczarski, has come up with an elegant, playful and clean design that I will be filling with delicious little bits of info about me in the coming months – including playlists of songs that have inspired me, my favorite quotes and, of course, this blog on the homepage.

But back to my slightly awkward explanation: I'm not an expert when it comes to Facebook and Twitter. In fact, as recently as a month ago I was publicly (and professionally) denouncing 'tweeting' as the second coming of the apocalypse. My teetering with social media most likely stems from the fact that I'm shy.


No really, I am. I've always prided myself on my ability to exist quite happily *not* in the spotlight. So, imagine the unbelievable burst of pink satin HORROR when I realized there is this whole PROMOTING thing you have to do when you want to be a successful author!

Think I'm being dramatic? Have YOU ever created your own fan page on Facebook and had to have your personal site 'like' your professional one? Have YOU ever created a Twitter feed whilst weighing the simply unbelievable notion that people are going to want to read your posts? Have YOU ever carefully considered how to craft and propagate a professional image for a profession you don't even have yet?

Then back off and let me apologize for seeming like a ego-maniac who is CLEARLY tooting a very large horn that she hasn't quite learned to play.

However, please don't confuse this personality trait with any lack of confidence or arrogance on my part. I'm a true triple writing threat: I'm cute and marketable, I'm clever and intelligent, and I can write better than most people can think. So there.

... I just don't know what the hell I'm doing. :-D And, it's kinda fun being so low on totem pole, knowing that one day I'll look down at these days and think, 'You were such a n00b back then.'

Because, *trust me*: I know I am.

Drive slow and have a safe Halloween with all your tricks and treats ... and here's hoping you enjoy mine!